The other day at the grocery store I noticed a pre-made cake with the pitch “The Best Chocolate Cake Ever.” My eyes rolled so much I nearly succumbed to vertigo. Puh-leaze with a capital leaze, and stick an ‘s’ in front of that for good measure. What a joke, seriously. The audacity of some low-level bakery to claim their cake is the best EVER was an immediate turn off. I did not want to try to cake to see what the best ever cake tastes like because I know it’s a lie, and I don’t want to eat cake from a company that lies so blatantly.
Instead, the headline should have said something about the chocolaty cake. Is it creamier than others? Is the chocolate flavor so intense only a few bites will satisfy? Is it smooth and rich? Does it melt in your mouth? Does it crumble all over your plate or stay satisfyingly firm after you slice off a piece? Tell me something about the actual flavor of the cake, not some douchebag opinion that it’s the best. Yeah, yeah, everything ever made by a food company is the best, give me a break.
What's The Pitch? 